The pride of life...

There is the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life. ( 1 John 2:16) My pastor in his sermon last Sunday mentioned this verse, and then ask us which one did we struggle with? I have thought about that all week, and my heart was definately convicted about the pride of life! The pride of life involves self-sufficiency. There has been a time in my life as recently as a couple of years ago that my self-suffiency and my accomplishments all of a sudden looked like they nothing! Everything that I based my life upon being good at, such as being a wife and mother seem to be fleeting. That sounds a bit odd because my marriage is still healthy and intact, I am still a mother guiding and rearing my children, so what is it that seemed fleeting? It was the bases of my identity.

I was reading a commentary about the 1 John passage and it said, " either we can trust in ourselves and our accomplishments or we can derive our values, assurance and life from God." Thus self suffiency = worldliness. He went on to say something really profound to me, "People who live their life like this are dedicating it to things that are short lived" Wait a minute, being a wife and mother is not something that is short lived! Yes that's right, but when you base your identity on those accomplishments and not on your Savior you will get burned! Why? Because life is about change, your children grow up and leave, your relationship with your husband changes and everything you thought you were a pro at is jerked out from underneath you. In my life the climax of the lesson came in this set of circumstances: my husband's job changed, he was gone the majority of the week and finishing his degree when he was home he had to concentrate on homework. This was a difficult time for him also, he by no means enjoyed being away from his family. But for me my role in caring for him had to change and I didn't like it at all! My children were all at different stages, I had one in college away from home and after having homeschooled my children for ten years and loving it, the other two were put in public school each for different reasons. Now that same year I turned 40 and it was like a pie in the face of everything I had accomplished. I now know that God was taking me through repenting of making my family my idol and lovingly helping me understand that even though life changes, He will never and my identity as His child is a constant!

So I struggle still today with the pride of life, because like many of us we self-exalt and that will lead to self destruction. My heart is so moved now, by all that I know that God has given me to do in this life, including my precious role as wife and mother, but I now cling to my relationship with the Eternal One more than my relationship with those here below. I hope you understand my heart on this one and I hope you think about it...