Things I ponder...

I wanted to start this blog for the reason of sharing what God is working out in my heart and mind. I was so encouraged by two friends to share with all who would read this; but I must admit my heart is alittle faint at the thought of posting what I am wrestling with and the "working out of my salvation". I am convinced and convicted in my own life that I must know the One that I say that I follow in a deeper more intimate way. To "love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind" seems to be what I am pondering as of late. To love Him with all my heart seems natural as a woman because we live on such a sense of depth from the heart, though there is even more to that than meets the eye. To love Him with all my soul seems to convict me of the depth of my relationship, or the lack thereof; but loving Him with all my mind, that is the one that quickens my heart, that is the one I know that most scares me. My mind is so rattled most the time because of the urgency that is so apparent, that thinking deep thoughts about such an Almighty God literally hurts my mind! So what do I do with that, I push them to the back, I hide in my complacency and "churchanity" because that would take something that I don't want to give, my time and my mind! I am reading the book, In Search of a Confident Faith; and in the book the authors tell me that sometime in our walk when we ponder the deep things of God, we are afraid because we don't think there is a sense of honesty in our community as believers enough to share what we struggle with. How sad! So we tend to settle back into a superficial Christianity. That is why the world thinks as Bill Maher has said that we have a neurological disorder that keeps us from thinking! So I want to post a challenge to all to think big thoughts of our Mighty Sovereign who wants us to know Him, really know Him to the depths of our being, so if the day should ever come in our lives and it will to most, and He should be all that we have left, I pray that He will be all that you and I want and need!